Name – Violet Sygrove
Home – Auckland, New Zealand
Children – Remy 16 months

One thing that you do daily for balance within yourself –
From quite early on I made myself a goal to get out of the house at least once a day. Even in those terrible days when everything would go wrong and it would take me the same amount of time to actually get ready to leave as I would actually be out. I found a bit of fresh air makes such a difference to my headspace and now my little guy is bigger he needs to get out of the house just as much as I do. Also coffee and lots of it!

How has motherhood changed you –
I think its really put things in perspective for me and made me realise what’s actually important in life and that all the other little things don’t actually matter. I also think it’s given me a new sense of inner strength I never knew I had. Being a mother is the hardest yet greatest thing I’ve ever done.

You wish someone had told you –
Hmmmm……… I’m a midwife so I was pretty well informed and prepared to a degree for the newborn period but I wish I knew / had heard about the 4-5 month sleep regression that is really common. Remy was waking every 45-60mins overnight and my husband and I were losing the plot. Once I actually did a bit of research and figured out that’s what it was it was like a light being turned on. Remy has still never slept through the night but he’s much better and I’ve just come to accept he’s not a good sleeper and coffee is now my best friend.

Your biggest anxiety about being a parent –
Is doing the right things to make sure we are raising a happy, kind, healthy and well adjusted person. I love reading research and articles about human development etc and know how important these early years are for setting a child up for life, although it can be a bit daunting and overwhelming at times knowing how crucial this time is for your child’s development. My husband thinks I read too much of this stuff and I think about it too much, which maybe I do. I also try to remind myself that people have been raising children for ever and to trust my instincts.

A parenting essential you can’t live without –
My husband and My family! My husband and I are a real team when it comes to parenting and he is always telling me what an amazing mum I am which is so reassuring to hear when I’m often second guessing half of the things I do and feeling the mum guilts about the other half. My family has been wonderful and I can’t imagine not having them around they have been so supportive and involved. They will do anything to help us out, we’re very lucky to have them so close. It’s been an unexpected joy I hadn’t really thought about to see how much happiness he’s brought into our families lives.

The one quality or trait you hope to instil in your child –
To be kind and respectful to others. I’m a firm believer that a bit of kindness and respect go a long way in life.

What has your child taught you so far –
As I said earlier he’s taught me what’s really important in life and not to sweat the small stuff which is really hard sometimes when your sleep deprived and hormonal. Also my patience levels have increased hugely.  He’s also taught me how strong I can be, from a beautiful home birth to sleepless nights, teething and sickness and everything in between. He’s shown me just how much I can love someone which is more then I ever thought possible.

Any advice for a new mum –
Don’t have too many expectations, just take things as they come and go with the flow. Remember they are only this little once and before you know it they’ll be independent little people who won’t need you so much. Have a group of mamas that you can connect with whether it’s in person or online. I have an awesome bunch of mamas. We meet up for coffee/play dates and we have a chat group so when one of us is having a terrible day or have questions about something we can help each other out sometimes we just post pictures of hot guys or poo explosions and have a good laugh. Lots of people will give you advice about all sorts of things but stay true to yourself and only take on board what you feel is right for you and your baby. Don’t judge just remember we’re just doing what works for us to survive.

What you love most about being a mum –
Watching Remy grow and develop into this little person with his own personality I feel such an sense of pride in watching him learn and grow. He just brings so much joy into our lives. I also love seeing my husband being a Dad, he is amazing with Remy. I feel very lucky to have such a happy healthy baby. Working as a midwife I’ve seen such great joy and great sorrow and know just how precious life is so I try to take every moment in and be present but we all have our days when for our own sanity a DVD is put on or in Remys case car racing just to get a moment of peace to catch your breath.